天の繋ぎは揺らぎの中にある— Heavenly Ties Exist Within the Quiver
※English text follows.
鼠色雲から繊維状の雨がパラパラと落ちてくる朝、朝露が残る美しい芝生の上を歩く赤髪の女がいた。その姿はまるで若葉マークをつけた免許取得者が慎重に車を操縦するように、危うい。濃藍ジーンズは湿った芝生を揺らし、一層色を濃くしていく。
ここは人間と動物も共存する小さな憩いの場。 とくに気温が落ち着く春から秋は、空のキャンバスに雲がお絵かきしているもとで、近隣の学生らがお喋りを楽しんだり、老夫婦は木製ベンチで読書をしながら愛を確かめ合う。リスは塀から木から木へと飛び移り、ウサギは芝生を駆け回る。しかし今日は雨と寒さのせいもあってか、兎は木の根元で小さく丸まり、リスは姿をみせることはなかった。
公園を通り抜け街のメインストリートに出る。そこには大型スーパーや美術館が立ち並んでいる。今日は日曜。道の両脇にずらっと並んだ店は重い鉄のシャッターを下ろしている。たまに開いている店を見つけると、重い心のシャッターがふっと開く気がした。借り物の身体なだけに、ちょっとでも気を緩めると転びそうになる。歴史ある石畳や急こう配な坂道が、どことなく女の状態を嘲笑っているかのようである。
ハーバーが見え、坂道をおりきる少し手前の横道を右へ曲がると、白い壁の高級住宅が立ち並ぶ静かな通りに入った。その先にある、趣ある白い建物の大学にたどりついた。
女は柵に寄りかかり、授業を終え会話を楽しむ人々の姿をただじっと見ている。門からでてくる人の中には女の姿に気づき声をかけてくる者もいるが、女はニコリと挨拶も返事もせず、ただ蜻蛉（かげろう）のようにたっていた。まるでこの世の世界のものではないかのように。声をかけた側も、不気味さを感じ女の側をそそくさ離れていく。
そこへ長身で肩幅のある、がっちりした青年がでてきた。 その男の顔をみるやいなや、記憶の中の白衣の姿が今の彼と重なり、身体を硬直させた。 女の身体というより、その内側にいるもうひとつの意識がそうさせていたのだ。
右手に持っていた桜貝のハーバリウムを胸元へ持ち上げ、高鳴る心臓を静めるように、深い呼吸を数回し、ゆっくりとゆっくりと男性に駆け寄っていった。
彼がこちらを振り返る。その瞳に映る、見知らぬ女の姿に一瞬驚きが走る。けれど、彼はその眼差しの奥に、かつて潮風が心地よい病室の窓辺で語り合った、ある面影にすぐに気がついたのだ。
一歩ごとに、遠い病室で動かなくなっていく自分自身の心臓が、最後の空気を求めて震えているのがわかる。もう、言葉を交わす時間は残されていない。
震える手で桜貝のハーバリウムを差し出し、彼の手の中に託した。 何も言わず、私はその場を後にした。背中から呼び止められた気がしたが、振り返らなかった。
女の息はどんどん荒くなっていく。
雑貨、アクセサリー、アート店と個性溢れる店が立ち並ぶアーケードの下を潜り抜け小道の突き当り、外観がツタで覆われた店がみえた。 出入り口には魔よけのニンニクがかかっている。 女が黒く光る扉を押すと「ギー」と鈍い音をたてた。
地下へつづく階段を降りていった先にある、部屋の中はカーテンで外の光が遮られ薄暗く、右棚には薬草瓶が並び、左の棚には表紙の題名が読めぬほどの埃を被った書籍が並んでいた。 部屋の真ん中に置かれた大きなテーブルの上には様々な色や形の天然石にハーブが置かれている。
その奥に一枚緑色のカーテンがある。 そのカーテンを右手でつかみ上げ中に入ると、赤い猫足のついたふかふかな椅子に、細かなシワが豊かな年を重ねたことを物語る顔に白髪まじりの髪の毛をバレッタでまとめあげた老婆がひとり座っていた。
女が入ってきたことに気づくと椅子のひじ掛けに手をやり立ち上がり
「楓に響、二人ともよく帰ってきたね。あと少しよ。」
そう言いながら、女の身体を支えるように抱え奥の部屋へと急がせた。
奥にある薄暗い部屋に入ると祭壇の前にある小さなベッド。
体を乗せたいのだが、身体をあげる腕力さえ残っておらず、ほとんど老婆の力によって女の身体はベッドに横たえた。
「△×・・・・■%⦿・・・・」 「うおー」という喘ぎ声とともに “ふわっ” と、口から微かな青い光が立ちのぼる。
力なく漂ったその光は、ベッド横に置いてあった鏡の中に、吸い込まれるように入っていった。
暗い闇の中に一筋の白い光が走り、鏡の向こう側に、どこか別の場所にある病室が映し出される。
鏡の中にはベッドに横たわる少女の姿。 その周りを心配そうに見ている、少女の両親と思われる男女二人と白衣を身に纏った男性がいる。
腕の脈をとり、左ポケットからペンライトを取り出し、少女の目を見開き確認している。 それは、この街のどこかの病院で繰り返されている、テレビドラマでよくみる、あの臨終のシーンそのものである。
「人間は死が近づくと、自分で死を悟るらしい。そして生きていたときにやり残していた事を思い出し、その悔やみを晴らしてからあの世に行きたいと思うものが多いのだと言う。そのやり残したことをどうしても解決したいと強く願ったものだけが叶えられる場所がある。」それが、魂の診療所である。
The Soul’s Clinic — Heavenly Ties Exist Within the Quiver
On a morning when rain fell in fibrous threads from mouse-colored clouds, a red-haired woman walked across a beautiful lawn still glistening with morning dew. She moved with the precarious caution of a novice driver, as if she were barely in control of her own frame. Her dark indigo jeans brushed against the damp grass, their hue deepening as they soaked up the moisture.
This was a small sanctuary where humans and animals coexisted. Especially from spring to autumn, when the temperature is mild, nearby students gather to talk under a sky where clouds paint masterpieces upon the canvas, while elderly couples sit on wooden benches, reaffirming their love through quiet reading. Squirrels leap from fence to tree, and rabbits scurry across the grass. But today, perhaps due to the rain and cold, the rabbits remained curled in small balls at the roots of trees, and the squirrels were nowhere to be seen.
Leaving the park, she emerged onto the town’s main street, lined with a large supermarket and a museum. Since it was Sunday, the shops along both sides of the road had their heavy iron shutters drawn tight. Whenever she found a rare open shop, the heavy shutters of the heart seemed to flicker open for a moment. Since this body was but a borrowed vessel, the slightest lapse in concentration threatened to make her stumble. The historic cobblestones and the steep slopes seemed to mock her vaguely unsettled, restricted state.
As the harbor began to come into view, just before reaching the bottom of the slope, she turned right at a crosswalk into a quiet street lined with white-walled luxury houses. At the end of that path stood the university, a charming white building.
The woman leaned against the fence, silently watching the people leaving their classes and enjoying conversation. Some noticed her and called out, but she offered neither a smile nor a reply, standing there like a phantom—as if she were a presence not quite of this world. Feeling an eerie chill, those who had spoken to her quickly moved away.
Then, a tall, broad-shouldered young man emerged. The moment she saw his face, the image of him in a white coat from her memories overlapped with the man standing before her, and her body froze. It was not the woman’s body itself that reacted, but the “other consciousness” dwelling within her that compelled it so.
Lifting the herbarium of cherry blossom shells she held in her right hand to her chest, she took several deep breaths to calm her racing heart. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to run toward him.
He turned to face her. A flicker of surprise crossed his eyes at the sight of this stranger. But in an instant, deep within her gaze, he found the reflection of the woman he once knew—the one he had talked with by the window of that hospital room, where the sea breeze used to drift in so gently.
The woman’s breathing grew increasingly labored. With every step, she felt her own heart, failing in a hospital bed far away, shuddering in a desperate plea for air. There was no time left for words.
With trembling hands, I held out the herbarium made of cherry-blossom shells and entrusted it into his. Without a word, I left the place. I felt as if a voice called out to my back, but I did not look over my shoulder.
The woman’s breathing grew increasingly labored.
She passed under an arcade lined with unique shops—miscellaneous goods, accessories, and art—and at the end of the small path, a shop covered in ivy came into view. Garlic for warding off evil hung at the entrance. As the woman pushed open the dark, glistening door, it let out a dull, creaking groan.
Descending the stairs that led underground, she found a room shrouded in dim light, its windows blocked by curtains. Vials of medicinal herbs lined the right shelf, while the left was filled with dust-covered books whose titles were unreadable. On a large table in the center of the room, various colors and shapes of natural stones were placed alongside herbs.
At the far end, there was a single green curtain. Grasping it with her right hand and stepping inside, she found an elderly woman sitting alone on a plush chair with red cabriole legs. Her face, with its delicate wrinkles, spoke of the many rich years she had lived, and her salt-and-pepper hair was gathered up with a barrette.
Noticing the woman’s entrance, she placed her hands on the armrests and stood up.
“Kaede, Hibiki… you both made it back safely. Just a little longer now.”
Saying this, she hurried the woman toward the back room, supporting her body as she went.
Entering the dim back room, they came upon a small bed situated before an altar.
Though she wanted to place herself upon it, she no longer had the strength in her arms even to lift her own body. Carried almost entirely by the elderly woman’s strength, her body was laid out on the bed.
“△×・・・・■%⦿・・・・” With a low moan of “Uooh—,” a faint blue light drifted upward from her mouth.
Next, that blue light, devoid of strength, drifted into the mirror beside the bed, as if being inhaled.
In the dark shadows, a single streak of white light streamed, and on the other side of the mirror, a hospital room in some other place was reflected.
Inside the mirror was the figure of a girl lying on a bed. Surrounding her were two people who appeared to be her parents, watching over her anxiously, and a man dressed in a white coat.
He took the pulse at her wrist and, pulling a penlight from his left pocket, checked the girl’s pupils. It was exactly like the final scene often seen in television dramas, repeating in some hospital in this very city.
“Humans, when death approaches, seem to realize their own impending demise. Many recall unfinished business from their lives and wish to resolve those regrets before passing on to the afterlife. There is a place where only those who strongly desire to resolve their unfinished business can have their wish granted.”
That is the Soul’s Clinic.